Getting Asked To Dance
Many women are still reluctant to ask men to dance, though I encourage women
to do so. For those who wish to be asked to dance more often, I offer a few
insights into the minds of leaders (primarily men), and some possibly helpful
advice.
First, the insights, which are somewhat obvious.
- Leaders don't want to get turned down, so they'll pick followers whom they think will say yes.
- Experienced leaders often seek experienced partners.
- Leaders, particularly men, seek attractive partners.
Now, some practical advice on how to get asked to dance.
- Sitting or standing near the dance floor with a look of interest works a lot better than hiding behind a table or otherwise removing yourself from the dance floor. Leaders may equate distance with disinterest. Also, since it's somewhat embarrassing to be turned down by someone whom you have obviously sought out, some leaders will avoid this extra risk by choosing more casually accessible partners--i.e., those near the floor.
- Shoes do not make the dancer, but experienced dancers tend to wear ballroom dance shoes. Thus leaders seeking experienced partners may look for followers wearing ballroom shoes. Dancers wearing sneakers or clunky shoes are generally beginners. There will be exceptions, of course, but it's a pretty good guideline.
- Taking lessons is as much the follower's responsibility as that of the leader. I've met many followers who've ended a dance by mentioning--often with a bit of pride--that they've never taken a class in that particular dance, but just follow it. Well, I could usually tell.
- It will surprise no one that men tend to ask pretty women to dance. For what it's worth, I also frequently see women clustering around handsome men. But a pleasant, positive personality goes a long way towards repeat business for both leaders and followers. Don't assume--or worse, announce--that mistakes are your partner's fault. Show enthusiasm, and thank your partner for each dance. Smile more. (The last one really works!)
- A practical tip: yes, a short skirt will draw men :-). But make sure that it doesn't bind your legs too tightly to dance.